Great eXPectaTiOnS – a barter trade?

For the past few months, I’ve been having interesting discussions on this topic with my friends, colleagues and sometimes a monologue with myself! eXPectaTiOnS from relationships. Why do people expect at all and what do these eXPectaTiOnS lead to. From the little experience I have about life, I can safely say that eXPectaTiOnS are the root-cause of most problems in most relationships. (Other few causes I think are low-tolerance level and communication-gap.)

Parents are often disappointed with their children for not living up to their eXPectaTiOnS – be it studies or career, the pressure is always on the kids to do well, so that the parents can be ‘proud’ of them. I wonder if people ever wonder what the children go through? eXPectaTiOnS sometimes lead to fear and depression and can have fatal consequences. The outcome is for all to read in newspapers – suicides due to failure in exam / suicide coz caught cheating in exams / suicide coz of unemployment / suicide… suicide… suicide…

Then there are friendships that go sour coz of eXPectaTiOnS. One friend helps another and eXPectS the same in return. If shattered, it could be quits.

Oh and my favourite topic over a hot cuppa coffee – marriage ;) eXPectaTiOnS in a marriage can lead to severe consequences. Sometimes a divorce/separation and sometimes one or both the people involved may choose to suffer silently. Fewer times, things get sorted, thanks to patience and excellent communication skills. In the beginning of course everything is very rosy… after maybe 5 years, the ‘blind’ love begins to ‘see’ and the view is not very pretty! One of my buddies says that the hormones play in the first few years of marriage and after that it’s the mind that starts playing! Reason – eXPectaTiOnS surface only after some years of marriage. A low tolerance power can lead to arguments, EGO issues, ‘personal space’ and all this due to eXPectaTiOnS.

Spiritually speaking, in my opinion, it’s a good practice to never eXPect anything from anyone. Like if you help someone, do NOT eXPect help in return – this will only dilute the essence of your good deed. Think about it – your kind deed wasn’t a barter trade after all.

A part of the social work sector, I need to constantly motivate myself. Disappointments are many, support is negligible, but hope keeps me going. Hope to do better, hope to study and apply the knowledge in this field, hope to do genuine work. Spirituality has helped me to do good in His remembrance, be it helping the underprivileged or even helping a friend/family/stranger. It’s easier said than done, but am trying and what’s more… it’s working!
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